Idapalooza

Welcome to planet ida. Where the girls wear mustaches and the men wear dresses. Where you pick your eggs and blackberries. Where the shitter is either a cute cottage or a rocket. Where you can get ticks while doing naked stretching and drink more whiskey than ever before.

Nothing can prepare you for your first visit to radical queer Tennessee (and there's probably more going on than you'd expect).

Carey and I came early, ready to build and garden till the music and shenanigans began.



To begin with: It's gorgeous out here. Once you get over the bees, chiggers, snakes, spiders,ticks, poison ivy, mosquitoes, etc- you can begin to enjoy the stars, waterfall, and all the green as far as the eye can see.

The people aren't immediately friendly the way the faeries (fabulous gay men, mostly) are at the sanctuary a few miles away- but that doesn't mean anything. It's New York (ida) VS. San Fran (short mountain). There are plenty of friends and connections and hookups to be had. Blowjobs in the bushes all during lunch. A kiddie playground transformed to an S&M playground, complete with glory hole.

Things you can do at Ida [a partial list]
-cry
-weed the garden naked
-learn to use a jig saw

-shit next to a massive spider
-discover your hay allergy
-do arial silks poorly
-meet someone named fetish
-play spin the bottle with 4 bottles and 50+ kissers
-miss your bed
-have safe gloved sex
-join the FAG (fabulous ass gawkers) dance team

-offend people
-see the kids from school you were never quite cool enough to befriend
-listen to Hurray for the Riff Raff
-smoke weed out of a day lily
-give Dave End a hug
-accidentally wear the same outfit as a burly boy

-wake up sweaty
-drink homemade plum wine
-get jealous
-call everyone they and be constantly grammatically incorrect
-play boggle for the first time
-hear accordian versions of coin-operated boy
-wonder if anyone likes you
-get secret crush mail that proves at least one person does
-hear a chorus of moans at 3 AM
-be one of them