Queer-tisement

Check out #1 from my series, entitled NIKE:

I'm not the best at linocut (carving is HARD.) and I'm not the best artist ever, but I'm super into the non-gendered ass & commanding people in overtly sexual ways.

Gatorade & McDonalds still to come! Yay!

Love,

Ida-Hoes

Carey: My adorable partner-in-crime looking dashing as she casually leans back and drapes her calf over a bycicle *cough*

Ray's been hopping trains all over the country for ages. 

Carey gave her a bowl cut. I thought she was cute.

Ruby Ruby Rose was not only a great band, but the lead singer also fucked a random volunteer from the crowd with a strap-on.

Magpie draws sweet comics for earthfirst and is the glitteriest, gothest, sweetest anarchist I've ever met.

Tom writes beautiful things and was the first person to officially hit on both me AND carey.

This rope drew blood.

Willow is stunning. They shaved their hair just that day and went from 70's gayboy to 2009 babe. Willow was the one who suggested smoking pot out of a day lily.

This is a ghost. I bet you can't guess who.

Jesus was tied up and kept yelling for a blowjob and a cocktail.

Sully and Israel were two of the first people I met. Sully has hawk feathers on his glasses, and scary amounts of energy. Israel likes to talk about sex work and adventure.

This girl wore rad threads and could do flips. Aren't there rules about being too awesome? There should be.

Think 70's softcore gay porn. Love the sleaze.

Devin was wearing a 25 cent wedding dress the night I met him. About 50 fags and Fag-ettes went roller skating at a nearby rink for his birthday and possibly gave the locals quite a shock.

Little Bunny Kai Kai just left the army in May and re-outed himself. He used to be married to a woman. Now he's wondering around the back of freight trains somewhere. His memory is amazing, he can remember every word to any song he's heard more than three times.

Bea and Piper giving a safe sex fisting demo. Piper was literally one of the most jovial people I've ever met, and has a rack that dreams are made of.

Melissa looks like a girl from another era about to hit the town. We gardened together and not only is she an absolute doll, she isn't afraid to wear a neon mumu. 

The end. (Israel's end to be exact. It was his greatest Ass-et.)

I'm not me. Neither are you.

As a model, I spent a large amount of time pretending to be someone else.
But I didn't realize how much of every day, everyone is acting.

You pretend to not sleep with girls in the conservative office, you pretend to have a boyfriend when the boys bother you, you pretend you are someone else, somewhere else, something else.

we have drama clubs, acting classes, drag queens, trannies.
we are not ourselves. we are more ourselves that we'd care to admit.

The other day, I began to wax nostalgic for playing pretend as a kid- but I play dress up + imagination games more now than I ever did then. but now I stay in same world.

I'm not some orphan living alone in the woods (think boxcar children), or a fairy princess with magical powers.

When I go to the hipster club, gay club, burning man party, poetry reading, work- I put on a persona. I dress it up, I act the part (just like anyone).

This rant is inspired by failed attempts to flirt with a girl when I wasn't dressed the part. Inspired by my fake name at photoshoots. Inspired by the girl who said reading this is like reading about "najy" who intimidates her, because she knows and loves "najva".

This rant is inspired by my one friend who is too girly for girls, for kids playing on the playground and making it a pirate ship or quicksand, for the girl who is just insane enough to compliment someone's eyeballs because it's really the first compliment she thought of and not because it sounds interesting.

I want to know if it's possible to be yourself every minute of the day. If pretending is a necessity. I have this hair-brained notion that inside all my facades, there is what is essentially me (visually, it'd be a glowing gold nugget of truth). And sometimes I consciously deny it, or ignore it, or I show bits and pieces of it...

But what if I didn't give a fuck and did what it said all day? ignoring the fact that dressing would be impossible (which outfit is really me? that's a good question to ask if you never want to leave the house)- what would happen?

no fake names, no fake answers for the harassers on the street, no lying, no faux-flirting, no games, no biting my cursing tongue in front of the kids, no wigs, no drag.

I'd lose a lot. a whole lot.

Thankfully, I love my multiple personalities- and they (except for the depressed, self- loathing one) love me right back.
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I am tired, speedy, full.
It is morning, though you can't tell in my batcave-room.
I went on a spender drinker thinker bender tonight.

So when I got home, I watched "castle in the sky" and wrote this.
It is 8:18 AM and I am tired of New York City.

I have no idea what I'm going to do with my life and I am trying not to think about it. My ex used to have a rule (which we never really followed) that says not to dwell on deep topics after 2 AM.

So I'll empty my mind here, then try to sleep.

THOUGHT VOMIT:

-what grad school? MFA poetry? MA English/Journalism/Sociology? Business classes? Lawyer?
-Why did L have so much girl drama?
-Why are people attracted to people who look just like them? (i.e. not me. lame)
-What a waste of mascara.
-Crookers kid cudi remix pretty much owns my soul.
-Though I'm not always having sex, my bed is rarely empty.
-Tomorrow night/ sunday AM I leave for philly.
-We need more smutty artists.
-I'm fat. I'm fat. I'm fat. I'm fat. I'm fat. I'm fat. I'm fat. I'm fat. I'm fat.
-does having sex on the bathroom floor with someone 30 minutes after I meet them make them less attractive to me? does that make me a bad person if it does?
-I should get HIV tested.
-I'm tired.

Goodnight. morning. whatever the fuck.