Baby, it's 5 AM you must be lonely.

Woke up this morning (last night) knowing I need to make 300 $ a week for the next 3 months, post-burning man.
Doable, with the slight dabble into fetish and lowbrow work.

Getting on a bus in less than two hours headed for a new york adventure of the highest order.
You know, the old party till you drop find a job and apartment shuffle. Looking forward to it.
I don't really know quite the where and how of it all yet. Where am I staying tonight, for instance? Fucked if I know.

Spent the whole night drinking margaritas and halibut with my mother's 50+ yrs friends. We all discussed life, love, and dirty ER stories. Yes, these women laughed viciously about bananas lost up asses and broken vaginal cucumbers. Not to mention a gay couple who thought it was a good idea to place wedding bands around something more substantial than a finger, but underestimated the size of thier excitement. My personal favorite is the one where a man actually got stuck inside a woman. ouch.

And here, for you. I found something I wrote a bit ago. It's not exactly... polite.
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6 Fucking Haikus


I just sneezed two times
You didn't turn around
fuck you up the ass.

Wait, come back to me.
I didn't mean what I said.
I swear your cock's big.

Kissing you is hot,
your hairy chest and beard
make me sweat. ew.

What is love? she asked
To answer her, he placed his
penis in her mouth.

They say love is pain
And all lovers relish in it.
WHOA there, kinky shit!

Let's do it in the ass?
But I am a feminist!
Does that mean it's full?