What I am to You.

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Originally uploaded by Iamsurrealism

It was sitting where this girl is sitting, at the top of cassis, when I realized I had made it. REALLY made it.

I mediated and reflected and rejoiced in the pure insanity of funding my own trip to europe. being alone. and having so much living yet to do.

Here is the thing about me- I do things I say I am going to do. Often it takes me eons after I begin discussing something to accomplish it but I always do.

1. Get romantic and whisper tattooed behind my ears. [2 years]
2. Backpack through europe alone. [5 years]
3. Graduate college in three years [2 years].
4. Get an internship at VICE [3 months].
5. Nose piercing [1 year].
6. Write a book of poems [3 years].

and now I'm filling up my spare time making to do lists in my mind.
I'm repeating over and over my desires...

- fulbright scholarship
- teaching in barcelona
- backpacking through south america
- having an artists collective in BK
- moving to san fran
- visiting new orleans
- seeing the northern lights

I am putting my faith in the power of repition and determination.
There's a girl who told me ( when I demanded a streetcorner kiss) that I can't always get what I want...

But I somehow do.
And if I don't get it, I try to appreciate whatever comes my way in its stead. a little zen never hurt anybody.

speaking of which, i forgot

- visit an ashram
- volunteer/visit carnivale

In the book I'm currently reading, Eat Pray Love [don't judge, it's my moms] it talks about how every place and person has a defining word. Rome, it claims, is SEX. New York is ACHIEVE. Los Angeles is SUCCESS.

I think my word is CONNECT.
physcially, mentally, emotionally. through dance, music, kissing, art.

I realized this morning that I finally came up with a first line to the book I want to write. I'm always thinking of first lines to books but this one came as an echo, pre-packaged in the voice of my character.

It was like looking out a car window after a nap and seeing a beautiful stretch of road laid out before you.

I can't wait to start writing.
and chewing.


man, i'm so done with this whole chipmunk cheek thing.
thank god for girls who arrive in the morning with spinach omlettes and oatmeal and chai tea, and bands who play for free in grassy parks right around sunset, and the distinct shade of pink the clouds turned this evening while I was on the phone with my best friend.

Humanity, I want to know you from the inside.